Courage

Courage is a funny thing. It's there when you least expect it but when you want it, it's impossible to find. There are times when I feel brave enough to polca across red square and times when I'm brave enough to answer a professor's question in front of the whole class. What about when I'm not brave? What happens to me? I feel like I disappear or become someone else watching my life. What gives one courage? What gives one fear?

There's a quote from a Josh Groban song that is "someone I am is waiting for my courage." How long will I let myself wait? When will I finally just jump into the water knowing full well that I can swim? How will it feel? Will I be satisified or will I be slapped down? It's the not knowing that gives me fear. The possibility of failure.

"Jump!" I tell myself. Then I reply "I don't think I can."