I've got some good ones folks! Are you ready? Here we go.
Mom [in response to one of my dumb questions]: "Does a bear shit in the woods?"
Ali:"That frickin' hurt!"
Me:"What?"
Ali:"I kicked that cookie!"
Me [about my crush on "Hot Biology Guy"]: "It's about time it was with a real guy."
Ali [in response to me laughing at the above quotation]: "Shit I'm funny."
Ali: "It's either the $24 hat or the $12 in cash. So, basically I'm buying my own birthday present."
Me [in church]: "Mommy...I'm choking on Jesus!"
Father Dave: "Our mass has ended. Let us go in peace to love and serve the Lord."
Church People: "Thanks be to God."
Me:"It's like we're thanking God for ending mass."
Mom: "I don't think that's the intent."
Bio Prof: "endoplasmic reticulums are fun but genomes are funner."
Bio Prof: "Cells are much smarter than that."
Me: "Yeah, I don't give my cells enough credit. Good work boys [cells]."
Bio Prof: "...Bubbling mud pot..." <--my new favorite insult
Maggie: "What happened here?"
Me: "Basically...I'm just a big fat dork."
Anth Prof: "We'll have a movie about chimpanzees, everything you ever wanted to know about chimpanzees. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll probably have to leave to go to the bathroom...I guarantee at least one but probably all three of those things will happen to you."
Lab Partner: "Where's your bump man?"
Anth Prof: "It's just...it's total bullshit."
Anth Prof: "So short people don't get any love basically."
Chem Prof: "I think I was making up crazy chemistry in my head."
Chem Prof: "water can be an acid and a base at the same time! WOAH huh?!"
Chem Prof: "Let me take a deep breath here...pheeeeew inner peace..."
Chem Prof: "Buffers are fuuuuuuuun!"
Showing posts with label biology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label biology. Show all posts
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
New Quarter
I'm back. Well, I never actually went anywhere, just home. Unfortunately our computer at home is beyond slow so writing one post takes hours. I'm back at school now and have started a new term. I am taking biology, chemistry, and biological anthropology. Yes, that also means I have three labs. Hopefully, when summer finally gets here I will still be alive and relatively sane.
I wanted to share with you a ridiculously cool video my biology professor showed us today. It was made by the crazy kids at Harvard and shows the inner happenings of a cell. Seriously rad.
I wanted to share with you a ridiculously cool video my biology professor showed us today. It was made by the crazy kids at Harvard and shows the inner happenings of a cell. Seriously rad.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Recent Thoughts and Things
Chemistry
"...they decided to shake the poop out of the milk." ~ prof. It grossed me out a little.
"Woods are pretty bad places for humans not just because of the vicious raccoons but there are dangerous chemicals in the air." I'm sorry but are you kidding me??!! I always thought the woods were good for you but if the air is worse in the woods than in the city then my whole life has been a lie.
I truly wonder how many times my chem. prof. has almost died. He's told so many stories...it's unbelievable he's made it this far.
For biology lab I had to collect a sample of dirt and bring it to the lab. Well I forgot and had to get it on the way to lab. I happened to have a plastic bag in my backpack. So I put the dirt in the bag and put the bag in my pocket. For some reason while I was sitting in chemistry with the bag of dirt in my pocket I found the situation hilarious. That was a bad story. I'm sorry.
This week we had a guest lecturer in chemistry. We were each given a sheet and asked to evaluate her presentation. Let me just say that debate has destroyed my ability to evaluate presentation givers. I've become way too critical. Everyone around me was giving her 5s (high rating), but I was giving her tons of feedback and rating her a bit lower than everyone else. Now that I think about it however, that might not be from attending all those debate meets but could just be my critical personality...
Math
"Don't worry. These are going to get trickier." ~instructor Andrew about trig problems. I was so worried.
"We're multiplying 3 things to get zero! Either 2 is zero...unlikely..." ~Andrew
Have you ever wanted to turn to someone and say "Dude, you're obnoxious"? I have.
I like the word "compose."
Biology
The word "parasite" gives me the shivers.
The word "fungus" is weird.
How did people figure out which mushrooms were okay to eat? Just trial and error? I hope not.
Did you know there is a thing called "mushroom prospecting"? It's true.
Me: "It's like, a peanut."
Friend: "That was deep."
Other
"Yay for fat girls!" ~ Davielle Taken out of context that sounds way worse than it actually was.
"...they decided to shake the poop out of the milk." ~ prof. It grossed me out a little.
"Woods are pretty bad places for humans not just because of the vicious raccoons but there are dangerous chemicals in the air." I'm sorry but are you kidding me??!! I always thought the woods were good for you but if the air is worse in the woods than in the city then my whole life has been a lie.
I truly wonder how many times my chem. prof. has almost died. He's told so many stories...it's unbelievable he's made it this far.
For biology lab I had to collect a sample of dirt and bring it to the lab. Well I forgot and had to get it on the way to lab. I happened to have a plastic bag in my backpack. So I put the dirt in the bag and put the bag in my pocket. For some reason while I was sitting in chemistry with the bag of dirt in my pocket I found the situation hilarious. That was a bad story. I'm sorry.
This week we had a guest lecturer in chemistry. We were each given a sheet and asked to evaluate her presentation. Let me just say that debate has destroyed my ability to evaluate presentation givers. I've become way too critical. Everyone around me was giving her 5s (high rating), but I was giving her tons of feedback and rating her a bit lower than everyone else. Now that I think about it however, that might not be from attending all those debate meets but could just be my critical personality...
Math
"Don't worry. These are going to get trickier." ~instructor Andrew about trig problems. I was so worried.
"We're multiplying 3 things to get zero! Either 2 is zero...unlikely..." ~Andrew
Have you ever wanted to turn to someone and say "Dude, you're obnoxious"? I have.
I like the word "compose."
Biology
The word "parasite" gives me the shivers.
The word "fungus" is weird.
How did people figure out which mushrooms were okay to eat? Just trial and error? I hope not.
Did you know there is a thing called "mushroom prospecting"? It's true.
Me: "It's like, a peanut."
Friend: "That was deep."
Other
"Yay for fat girls!" ~ Davielle Taken out of context that sounds way worse than it actually was.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
This Week's Quotables
Quote of the day: "I can basically kill one bird with two stones...I'm bad at aiming." ~Jacquie
"I'm getting off on a bit of a tangent." ~Math prof. We were talking about sine, cosine, and...
"but nobody does long division anymore! We've got calculators!" ~ Math prof.
"This is just saying 'Hi I'm theta - pi/2. What's my x-coordinate?'" ~Math prof.
Note to teachers: Don't try to be tricky on tests and exams. Unless the trickiness was discussed in class it's just not cool.
Chem Prof: "You usually have a lot of solutes. So my breath has-"
Student: "Ew."
Prof: "I understand that."
"Dog comes by and licks it [antifreeze] he'll be dead. Cat comes by...that's all right. We'll forget about that." ~Chem. Prof.
"The senility in old folks, kinda like what you're seeing in me, is not natural. It's from lead." ~Chem. Prof.
"I have so many stupid stories I wish we could have a class on stupid chemistry stories." ~Chem. Prof.
"All I can do is apologize and laugh when you miss it on a test!" ~Chem. Prof.
I think it's interesting that whenever my professor says the word "alcohol" in lecture at least two guys laugh.
It bugs me that my chemistry professor says "all-gebra" instead of algebra and "molecliar" instead of molecular. It bugs me a lot.
During biology lecture my professor was talking about autosomes and I started thinking about autobots. Nerd.
There's no such thing as a stupid question unless you're the kid who sits a few seats down from me in biology. And boy can he come up with 'um.
"They're largely small...no that doesn't make sense..." ~Bio Prof.
My teacher said tertiary during lecture and I thought of Seven of Nine (Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One'). Nerd. Again. I'm sorry. It just happens.
Me: "I'm definitely a hybrid. I'm in flannel jammies so there's the inner redneck...I'm wearing two hemp bracelets so there's the inner wanna be surfer...I'm wearing black nail polish so there's the wanna be rock chick...I've got my chemistry book open in front of me so there's the inner nerd...and I've got my cross on so there's my inner church girl...I think I'm just confused."
Mom: "I'd say so."
"I'm getting off on a bit of a tangent." ~Math prof. We were talking about sine, cosine, and...
"but nobody does long division anymore! We've got calculators!" ~ Math prof.
"This is just saying 'Hi I'm theta - pi/2. What's my x-coordinate?'" ~Math prof.
Note to teachers: Don't try to be tricky on tests and exams. Unless the trickiness was discussed in class it's just not cool.
Chem Prof: "You usually have a lot of solutes. So my breath has-"
Student: "Ew."
Prof: "I understand that."
"Dog comes by and licks it [antifreeze] he'll be dead. Cat comes by...that's all right. We'll forget about that." ~Chem. Prof.
"The senility in old folks, kinda like what you're seeing in me, is not natural. It's from lead." ~Chem. Prof.
"I have so many stupid stories I wish we could have a class on stupid chemistry stories." ~Chem. Prof.
"All I can do is apologize and laugh when you miss it on a test!" ~Chem. Prof.
I think it's interesting that whenever my professor says the word "alcohol" in lecture at least two guys laugh.
It bugs me that my chemistry professor says "all-gebra" instead of algebra and "molecliar" instead of molecular. It bugs me a lot.
During biology lecture my professor was talking about autosomes and I started thinking about autobots. Nerd.
There's no such thing as a stupid question unless you're the kid who sits a few seats down from me in biology. And boy can he come up with 'um.
"They're largely small...no that doesn't make sense..." ~Bio Prof.
My teacher said tertiary during lecture and I thought of Seven of Nine (Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One'). Nerd. Again. I'm sorry. It just happens.
Me: "I'm definitely a hybrid. I'm in flannel jammies so there's the inner redneck...I'm wearing two hemp bracelets so there's the inner wanna be surfer...I'm wearing black nail polish so there's the wanna be rock chick...I've got my chemistry book open in front of me so there's the inner nerd...and I've got my cross on so there's my inner church girl...I think I'm just confused."
Mom: "I'd say so."
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
First Set of Winter Quotations
My math teacher has been great so far for good quotes.
"This is the meat of the set notation sandwich, you just need to put the buns on there right?"
"What's another way to say born? Birds aren't born..."
"Does the wingspan go on forever? I hope not, that would be like a scary Alfred Hitchcock movie."
"IT'S LIKE MAGIC! Math magic..."
"Wait a second...that can't be right...I must have plugged something into my calculator wrong...ohhhhh that's embarrassing..."
"Oh boy! Look at all of these solutions!"
"This is kind of a guess-what's-in-my-head kind of question."
This guy get so enthusiastic about what he's teaching us. One time it was so bad I said (to myself and the people near me) "My. God. This is blowing my mind." I got a couple chuckles.
My chemistry professor isn't nearly as funny as last term, but he has some really good stories that he likes to share. I managed to get a couple of quotes.
Prof.:"There are three phases (i.e. liquid, sold, gas)...well actually four but we won't talk about that."
Me:"WHAT?! Everything I ever learned about science is wrong!"
"Gotta be careful about putting yourself in a a vacuum."
He also tends to say "all-gebra" instead of algebra, and molecliar instead of molecular. It bugs me.
There have been quite a few good quotes in my biology class but I'm always too shocked to write them down. They're not from the professor, they're from this obnoxious kid that like to ask the most bazaar questions. Not only are the questions odd, but he takes forever to actually get to the question. That too bugs me. Here is the only question I managed to write down.
Kid: "Do you think reptiles will ever fly again?" (There was a picture of a turtle on the overhead. That's the only connection I could find.)
Prof.: "I doubt it."
I'll try to write them down from now on. They're crazy.
"This is the meat of the set notation sandwich, you just need to put the buns on there right?"
"What's another way to say born? Birds aren't born..."
"Does the wingspan go on forever? I hope not, that would be like a scary Alfred Hitchcock movie."
"IT'S LIKE MAGIC! Math magic..."
"Wait a second...that can't be right...I must have plugged something into my calculator wrong...ohhhhh that's embarrassing..."
"Oh boy! Look at all of these solutions!"
"This is kind of a guess-what's-in-my-head kind of question."
This guy get so enthusiastic about what he's teaching us. One time it was so bad I said (to myself and the people near me) "My. God. This is blowing my mind." I got a couple chuckles.
My chemistry professor isn't nearly as funny as last term, but he has some really good stories that he likes to share. I managed to get a couple of quotes.
Prof.:"There are three phases (i.e. liquid, sold, gas)...well actually four but we won't talk about that."
Me:"WHAT?! Everything I ever learned about science is wrong!"
"Gotta be careful about putting yourself in a a vacuum."
He also tends to say "all-gebra" instead of algebra, and molecliar instead of molecular. It bugs me.
There have been quite a few good quotes in my biology class but I'm always too shocked to write them down. They're not from the professor, they're from this obnoxious kid that like to ask the most bazaar questions. Not only are the questions odd, but he takes forever to actually get to the question. That too bugs me. Here is the only question I managed to write down.
Kid: "Do you think reptiles will ever fly again?" (There was a picture of a turtle on the overhead. That's the only connection I could find.)
Prof.: "I doubt it."
I'll try to write them down from now on. They're crazy.
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