New Quarter

I'm back. Well, I never actually went anywhere, just home. Unfortunately our computer at home is beyond slow so writing one post takes hours. I'm back at school now and have started a new term. I am taking biology, chemistry, and biological anthropology. Yes, that also means I have three labs. Hopefully, when summer finally gets here I will still be alive and relatively sane.

I wanted to share with you a ridiculously cool video my biology professor showed us today. It was made by the crazy kids at Harvard and shows the inner happenings of a cell. Seriously rad.

Best Presidents' Day by far

Over 800 miles in four days
In a wet and moldy car
With a friend I see every day
To visit a friend we haven't seen in a while

The CD player was annoying
Lisa read aloud from Unreasonable Behaviour
I tried to turn up her volume
It did not work

I had Irish cream
But not in coffee
To celebrate St. Paddy's Day
He is better than St. Valentine

After grilled cheese, we visited the ocean
Played in the waves and on the rocks
Then looked at Tom Cruise while eating burritos
Before learning where the blood will be

We ate ice cream at Billy's
And felt like small children
But we beat Oregon
And later mocked a stupid truck

I visited home
To de-mold my car
So my friends could visit my farm
Where a goat skull greeted us

Later there were guns and a goose
Thumbless emus and a green egg
We visited the bone yard
My father offered Jacob a cow pelvis

We began our return early
Got giant pancakes at The Rusty Tractor
Lisa took someone's drink (by accident)
Adventure over, we made it back in time for work

Different Valentine

My Valentine this year goes out to Les Schwab, for coming and bringing my car back to life and not getting mad when I turned it off, right after they jumped it. Thanks to them, I can now travel home for the three day weekend. Their customer service is amazing and I applaud them.

Song of the Day

"Anticipation" by Carly Simon. I'm going home on Friday and I can't wait. The anticipation is making me CRAZY! The anticipation of my upcoming chemistry exam is also making me crazy, not to mention the anticipation of the sunny weather that seems to be taking its sweet ol' time getting here. Perfect song for today, for my life basically.

Sorry about the psychedelic colors. It's the only good one I could find.

They're a little late

Winter Break Post 2 - about a week before Christmas

I have issues with my mother. I recently sent her a letter gently but firmly and explicitly explaining that I did not wish for her suddenly to become a part of my life. I know, this sounds a little harsh, but I really was as kind as I could be about it. It didn’t matter, because she disregarded my wishes and sent me a Christmas card anyhow. She said she hoped I changed my mind and then, in the same card, was kind enough to let me know that my sister and I are susceptible to Gardner’s syndrome. Just the kind of present everyone wants for Christmas.

Winter Break Post 3 - December 25, 2007

I got many Christmas gifts this year. As long as I keep coming home for Christmas, I think my father will keep getting me presents. I got several new CDs and movies, pajamas, a Jane Austen collection, and a pair of tennis shoes. My favorite gift, however, was my new iron and mini ironing board. I thought I would be sad to receive practical gifts, but no, I’m quite pleased with them. I really needed an ironing board and it’s a gift I know I’ll use.
I also got a lovely bit of coffee and Ariel gave me a couple books. It was a very satisfying Christmas.

Winter Break Post 4 - January 2, 2008

For New Year’s, it was the traditional celebration at Ariel’s house minus one. We had sparkling cider, Funfetti, games (Cranium, Pictionary, and Apples to Apples), and a new addition this year to help us stay awake, a special blend of coffee which we made full use of. It was not a bad way to start off the new year even if the fireworks at the Space Needle malfunctioned and the anchors acted like fools. It did seem more difficult than usual to stay awake though. If I can’t stay up till midnight when I’m not even 20, I bet I’ll sure be a blast on New Year’s when I’m 30.

Soymilk Changes

Winter Break Post 1 - December 21, 2007

Just about a week after I wrote my last post, I realized I was wrong. Things have changed. It’s not that coming home is any different or that my role when I come home has changed. As cliché as it may sound, it is me who is different. I know it’s all part of growing up, but it’s still strange. For the first time, I feel a bit of resistance. It’s not quite so easy as I thought. I’m not the exact same person I once was so it’s impossible for me to go right back into the shoes I wore at home.

I’ve become partial to the little boxes of vanilla soymilk they sell at the dining center. I’ve never had any soymilk until this year, but the vanilla at least is tasty and I like it. My family doesn’t drink soymilk. On our farm we have cows. We drink real milk. I told my father about my newfound appreciation of soymilk and he stared at me. A look in his eyes made me realize I have changed. It seems like such an unimportant thing, me liking soymilk, but it represented more. In the eyes of my father, the person I think knows me better than anyone, save perhaps Ariel, there was a mixture of confusion and shock. “Who have you turned into?” my father asked jokingly. While on the surface, the situation was hardly worth notice, there were undercurrents that I continued to think about long after the discussion had changed course. The simple conversation turned into a moment of realization that I have indeed changed, there are things about me my father doesn’t know now, and I’ll probably only change more as time goes on. I felt a strange sadness, almost a sense of loss. Life apparently only gets more complicated as one goes along.

Same ol' Same ol'

It’s funny how some things don’t change. Every time I come home from school, I worry about things being different, about having to readjust. I feel like at school I’m a different person than when I’m at home. I’m always amazed at how seamlessly I revert back. At school, other than the paper, I have few responsibilities. I’m rather self-indulgent. Being home is different. I stop being an independent college student and sometimes it seems, I go back in time.

I got home yesterday evening. As soon as I walked in the door, I became daddy’s little girl again. Leaving school, I put all my bags in my car by myself. Soon as I got home, in a sweet voice I asked my daddy to get my suitcase. He spoils me. I was also hungry, so I began making a sandwich. But my father can cut and toast the bread so perfectly, I got him to do that for me also. While initially it seems I return to being a spoiled little girl, I revert back into other roles as well.

I’ve always been more of a mother to my little sisters than a big sister. As my youngest sister went to bed, I checked to make sure she had brushed her teeth and washed her face. She hadn’t, so I made her get up and do it. This morning, as I was still sleeping and she was getting ready for school, she woke me up because she was concerned my father’s outfit didn’t match. I found him, and made him change his tie. By the time I did wake up, my sisters were both at school and my father at work. I had my cup of coffee and an English muffin and then got to work myself cleaning the house.

When I left for school, I wasn’t sure how my family would get along without me, but they’ve proven to be capable. At the same time, as soon as I come home, it’s like nothing is different at all. People often seem surprised when they find out I don’t desire children, and that even if I did have any, it wouldn’t be for quite some time. It’s not only that I’m just 19, but also that in some regards and to some extent I feel like I’ve been there and done that already. I’m not complaining. I like it. I like being needed and I like taking care of my father and sisters. And it’s not all bad. When I’m want a break from playing mother, I can always go back to being daddy’s little girl.

And I’m still a college student too. I have three weeks worth of dirty laundry on the floor of my room waiting to be washed. That’s right, I managed to go three weeks without doing laundry. It wasn’t easy. I’ll get to it after I make some banana bread from the old bananas on the counter.

It's good to be home.

Home

I am home for the week of Thanksgiving. Being home means returning to dial-up Internet service. Posts will probably be light as a result.

Time for some whine

I went home this weekend. It was absolutely perfect. I had forgotten how nice it is to feel safe and comfortable where you live. I don't get that when I'm here at school. I hate waking up in the morning and not knowing if there is going to be a stranger sleeping in my living room. I hate not being able to fall asleep because my suite mates like to yell while I'm trying to sleep. I hate having to get up for an 8 o'clock class on less than 5 hours of sleep (this can complicate one's entire day). I hate making agreements with my suite mates and then finding out that they don't respect those agreements. I hate having people knock on my window at 6 in the morning. I hate being constantly afraid that I'm going to get in trouble for living with people that drink excessively. And most of all I hate feeling completely helpless in this situation.

A summer and day of things learned

I arrived in Pullman yesterday, but my newspaper training has kept me exceedingly busy, and as much as I would have liked to, I can't blog and drive at the same time. I'm about to be late for the ice cream social (fun stuff, I know, but the ice cream is from Ferdinand's), but I shall still attempt to give a quick update.

Things I gained from making plywood all summer:

1) Some money in savings to pay for anything my scholarship doesn't cover.
2) I was able to purchase several new skirts and a few pairs of shoes to add to my closet.
3) A gigantic callous on my right thumb. (I like showing it off to people.)
4) More tolerance for long boring stretches of time. The drive over didn't seem as bad as I remember being in the past. (Although the first half of the drive is a story all in itself which should come at a later date.)
5) The knowledge that money won't be enough to make up for doing a job you hate. I can't imagine working at the plant for more than a few months at a time.

Things I learned in my first day on campus as a sophomore:

1) Single rooms are much better than double rooms.
2) Trying to put your bed on bed-risers all by yourself, is a bad idea.
3) It's not any easier leaving home for your second year, but the first couple days back at school are a lot easier.
4) Pullman/Eastern Washington is hot! (And not in the ridiculous Paris Hilton sense.)
5) In a newsroom, when one says "that line seems too bold," it is important to ask if they are talking about font.

More Bubble Baths

Unlike Christina, I'm not a big fan of bubble baths. They're boring, but right now I have no choice. My family decided to start remodeling our bathroom while I was away and it hasn't come very far. So, we don't have a shower right now, only a tub. The tub is excellent though. It is super deep and has jets! I hadn't tried the jets yet because I just didn't want to take the time, but today was the perfect day because it's my sister's graduation tonight and I felt it was the perfect time. Plus my mom got some bubble bath at Bath & Body Works too, so extra bonus. Regularly bubble baths are a little pathetic because there generally aren't many bubbles, but with jets it's amazing! Tons and tons of bubbles everywhere! I now appreciate bubble baths a little more. The only down side is that now between the smell of the bubble bath stuff, my shampoo, my bath & shower gel, and my lotion I smell like a pissy flower. Oh well.

Bird of Prey

On Monday I was at home and my mom and I were out in the back yard. I was sitting on the trampoline and she was gardening. She decided to bring our guinea pig, Miles, outside with us to run around. She really doesn't run around, she just waddles around right next to where we are. Anyways, I was sitting there watching her when I heard the birds suddenly start chirping all at once. This made me think about how at Shasta, where all the Greek folks go every year, people were getting their little dogs snatched off their boats by eagles. When I first heard about this I laughed a little because little dogs are annoying, but then I thought about how I would feel if something like that happened to my dog and realized it must be horrific. Then I realized that Miles was in the grass and we have hawks around our place. So, I got up and sat down on the grass right next to her. Sure enough as I sat down I saw a hawk circling really close. Then he started flying towards me and Miles. "Look Mom," I yelled. Then I picked up Miles and held her close to me. "Whoa," she said. Then I told her the Shasta story.

We both couldn't believe it. Hawks never come that close to the house. He flew away a few minutes later, but I was paranoid so I just stayed on the ground right next to her. A little bit later as I was sitting on the ground I saw two more hawks circling pretty high right above me. It was nuts! He had brought in reinforcements! "See that shovel right there," I said to my mom, "if they come any closer I'm going to whack them with it...and I'm going to mean it." She said " You really think you can take two hawks with a shovel?" "Watch me," I said, "Plus you're here and you have a pitch fork." Not wanting to fight, I took Miles back into the house. It was pretty weird.

217 Days Down, 14 To Go

I went home this weekend for the holiday. It was wonderfully perfect timing. I made it 8 full weeks without going home, which is a record. Last term after 5 weeks I was starting to show signs of depression and the doctor sent me home. The term before that I had to come home after about 4 weeks, so for me 8 weeks is amazing. I actually might have made it the whole 10 weeks without going home, but I didn't want to stay here either.

I went and saw Pirates with my mom and sister. I think I give it a C+. I got to hang out with Christina too, which was swell. I went to the cemetery with my mama like we do every year to decorate the graves of my grandma, grandpa, aunt, and great grandpa. I didn't get a chance to blog because my computer at home is really slow. I also went back to Big 5 to see if I could line up a summer job. They were actually really excited to see me and it looks like I will be working there.

I thought I would be okay coming back, emotionally. I think the next two weeks are going to be hard. Coming home this weekend was like a false sense of finality. Even though I knew I had to come back to Corvallis, I felt like I was done. It's strange because I thought I had gotten stronger but as soon as I got into Oregon I felt instantly tired and testy. Two and a half hours later...still tired and testy.

Only two more weeks.