Same ol' Same ol'

It’s funny how some things don’t change. Every time I come home from school, I worry about things being different, about having to readjust. I feel like at school I’m a different person than when I’m at home. I’m always amazed at how seamlessly I revert back. At school, other than the paper, I have few responsibilities. I’m rather self-indulgent. Being home is different. I stop being an independent college student and sometimes it seems, I go back in time.

I got home yesterday evening. As soon as I walked in the door, I became daddy’s little girl again. Leaving school, I put all my bags in my car by myself. Soon as I got home, in a sweet voice I asked my daddy to get my suitcase. He spoils me. I was also hungry, so I began making a sandwich. But my father can cut and toast the bread so perfectly, I got him to do that for me also. While initially it seems I return to being a spoiled little girl, I revert back into other roles as well.

I’ve always been more of a mother to my little sisters than a big sister. As my youngest sister went to bed, I checked to make sure she had brushed her teeth and washed her face. She hadn’t, so I made her get up and do it. This morning, as I was still sleeping and she was getting ready for school, she woke me up because she was concerned my father’s outfit didn’t match. I found him, and made him change his tie. By the time I did wake up, my sisters were both at school and my father at work. I had my cup of coffee and an English muffin and then got to work myself cleaning the house.

When I left for school, I wasn’t sure how my family would get along without me, but they’ve proven to be capable. At the same time, as soon as I come home, it’s like nothing is different at all. People often seem surprised when they find out I don’t desire children, and that even if I did have any, it wouldn’t be for quite some time. It’s not only that I’m just 19, but also that in some regards and to some extent I feel like I’ve been there and done that already. I’m not complaining. I like it. I like being needed and I like taking care of my father and sisters. And it’s not all bad. When I’m want a break from playing mother, I can always go back to being daddy’s little girl.

And I’m still a college student too. I have three weeks worth of dirty laundry on the floor of my room waiting to be washed. That’s right, I managed to go three weeks without doing laundry. It wasn’t easy. I’ll get to it after I make some banana bread from the old bananas on the counter.

It's good to be home.